5 scientifically proven ways to be happier at work
A better approach is to think about happiness as something that emerges when we become comfortable with reality, whatever it looks like. The happiness skill, she says, is about achieving a certain acceptance of yourself, of other people and of the reality you inhabit. So how is it done?
Here’s five guidelines to feeling comfortable with reality.
1. Know that life is difficult and suffering is to be expected.
Technological progress and improving conditions of life have encouraged us to think that life is easy and we are entitled to a comfortable life. In fact, as the pandemic has shown us, life is inherently uncertain while loss and suffering are certain. Suffering is often concealed – we don't always know about others' suffering or share our with others– but it is always there, big or little. Letting go of expectations about an easy and perfect life and accepting the inevitability of change and loss can mitigate frustration when things go wrong.
2. Expect to have negative experiences and emotions and accept them.
If suffering is to be expected, we need to expect to sometimes feel negative emotions. Being happy doesn't mean feeling good all the time. Happy people have their own share of negative emotions. Getting comfortable with sometimes being uncomfortable is key to happiness.
3. Stop arguing with reality.
If something is a fact, fighting or resisting is simply a waste our time and energy. As the pandemic has shown us, railing against things over which we have no control won't change anything—it's futile. Far better to accept facts and move on.
4. Adopt a positive outlook.
Our attention is like a spotlight – its beam illuminates whatever we focus on and that becomes our reality. This means that we can choose not to focus on the negative at the expense of the positive. The point is not being delusional or rejecting uncomfortable facts. We need to be fully in touch with reality for sustainable happiness. It's rather realizing that reality is larger than what our attention is presenting us, and under uncertainty, the same event can be interpreted through different lenses, some more positive than others.
5. Don't buy into everything that pops into your head.
All too often our inner voice will tell us that we're not good enough, smart enough or successful enough. But fusing with thoughts and feelings that pop up – taking them for facts – is the opposite of true awareness.
Happier people are those who can look at their own thoughts from a distance; who can hear and observe their emotions and inner voice without being carried away by what is going on their heads. They instead question the validity of those voices and aim at a more truthful and constructive inner voice.
References:
https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/employee-relations/pages/how-to-be-happier-at-work.aspx