For the Holidays, the Gift of Self-Care
Most of us already know that self-care is good for us. Research shows that people who practice self-care have better quality of life, are admitted less frequently to a hospital, and live longer than those who report poor self-care.
While self-care is a simple concept, it can be remarkably difficult to enact. It may feel selfish or too time-consuming to focus on your own needs, and many of us don’t know where or how to start.
Here are a simple five-step plan to give yourself the gift of self-care this holiday season;
Breathe
Start by just taking a deep breath. Become mindful of your breathing. You’ll notice that when you begin, your breathing is shorter and more shallow, but as you continue, your breathing becomes deeper. Take just a few minutes each day to focus on your breathing. “As my breathing becomes much deeper and I’m paying attention to it, I feel much more centered and calm,“I feel I can manage whatever is happening right now.”
Accept
Acceptance — of ourselves, our feelings and of life’s imperfections — is a common theme in “Love for Imperfect Things.” The path to self-care starts with acceptance, especially of our struggles. “If we accept the struggling self, our state of mind will soon undergo a change, “When we regard our difficult emotions as a problem and try to overcome them, we only struggle more. In contrast, when we accept them, strangely enough our mind stops struggling and suddenly grows quiet. Rather than trying to change or control difficult emotions from the inside, allow them to be there, and your mind will rest.”
Write
Begin to practice acceptance through a simple writing exercise. Write down the situation you must accept and all that you are feeling. Write down the things in your life that are weighing on you, and the things you need to do. “Rather than trying to carry those heavy burdens in your heart or your head, you see clearly on paper what it is you need to do. Whether the issue is work, family demands or holiday stress, the goal is to leave it all on the paper. Now go to bed and when you wake up, choose the easiest task on the list to complete. “In the morning, rather than resisting, simply do the easiest thing I can do from the list.
Talk
Never underestimate the value of meaningful conversation for your well-being. Make time on a regular basis for a close, nonjudgmental friend. “If you feel frustrated or angry, look for a close friend and buy them coffee or lunch or dinner,” Haemin Sunim said. “Choose someone who will listen without any kind of judgment.” Talking through your feelings will give you insights into your own needs. “You already know the answer,” Haemin Sunim said. “It’s just that you haven’t had the opportunity to clearly relive the story. Once the story is released, you can see it more objectively, and you will know what it is you need to do.”
Walk
One of the easiest ways to care for yourself is to take a walk. Just walking, can distract your mind and create space between you and whatever is causing stress in your life. “Walking can be an incredible resource for healing. When you sit around thinking about upsetting things, it will not help you. If you start walking, our physical energy changes and rather than dwelling on that story, you can pay attention to nature — a tree trunk, a rock. You begin to see things more objectively, and oftentimes that stress within your body will be released simply by walking.”
Self-love is the act of valuing your own well-being and overall happiness. It is an acceptance of unconditional support and caring for yourself. Acts of self-love come directly from our own willingness to meet our personal needs. These needs can be simple, like making food when we don’t feel like eating, showering when we don’t feel like even getting out of bed, and so on.
Reference:
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/10/well/mind/self-care-buddhism-monk-meditation-stress-anxiety-calm-Haemin-Sunim.html