Appearances can be deceiving: High-functioning anxiety
“No matter how hard I worked or how proud I was of my achievements, the anxious part of my brain would scrutinize, criticize, and patronize me.”
High-functioning anxiety often affects people who appear to manage their daily lives with ease but their internal state is often quite different from their demeanor.
Are you a perfectionist who feels mounting stress when projects don’t quite go as you planned? Are you a high achiever that no matter how hard you work you are never truly satisfied with your actual achievements? Are you constantly making lists, ticking things off, and adding yet more to your lists – making them never-ending and somewhat unachievable and therefore stress-ridden?
The term ‘anxiety’ is generally understood but perhaps many of us haven’t heard of nor fully recognise what high-functioning anxiety is and that it affects a lot of people who may not even realise they have it.
Whilst not an officially recognised medical diagnosis; it affects individuals who are often perceived as fully functional in their day-to-day lives. In other words, those that appear more than capable of handling their commitments, whether professionally, personally, or socially. The word ‘appear’ is important because although someone with high-functioning anxiety might seem happy and all-smiling on the outside, their internal reality is often quite different.
Who typically suffers from high-functioning anxiety?
High-functioning anxiety affects people from all walks of life. The A+ student who is also the most popular in his year. The professional advancing effortlessly throughout her career. The parent with the perfect balance between work and family. The skilled, confident footballer that every youngster aspires to be. The list goes on and on. Regardless of race, age, or gender, high-functioning anxiety can affect anyone at any time in their lives.
Five positive behaviors of people who have high-functioning anxiety
Organised and efficient
Perfectionism
Friendly and outgoing
Proactive and helpful
Appearing to have a calm demeanor
Five negative behaviors of people who have high-functioning anxiety
Over-thinking situations
Constant need for reassurance
A lack of transparency to others
Fear of driving people away
Inability to say no
6 Daily Hacks That Help Manage High-Functioning Anxiety
1. Recognize your symptoms for what they are
If you do, understand, and acknowledge how they impact you. Anxiety kicks our brains into over-analysis. “Why, why, why am I feeling like this?” Sometimes, there is a simple answer: “Because we have anxiety.” Ruminating over a simple decision, overpreparing for a meeting, or obsessing over a conversation often doesn’t mean anything more than that my anxiety is acting up.
Mental illnesses are in part biological and try to remember to think of your anxiety as you would any other physical condition. This helps you to cut off your worry about how you feeling in the past. Tell yourself, “I have anxiety and that is OK.” I can accept that today is a little more challenging and focus my energy instead of how I can help myself.
2. Make friends with your fear
If you have anxiety, fear is your friend. You may not like it, but it’s part of your life. And it motivates so much of what you do. Have you stopped to examine the nature of your fear? Have you connected it back to past experiences that may be telling you that you aren’t smart or successful enough? Why is it that you’re so focused on the approval of others?
Ever the people pleaser, those with high-functioning anxiety never want to let others down. Therefore, the thought of saying no to anyone who asks something of them can make them feel as if they’ve failed or might be judged in a negative light. This only leads to more pressure and so the anxiety builds.
Whilst the positive traits can produce impressive results, for example, in your professional life, burnout might not be far behind. Dealing with such success that is swiftly followed by feelings of doubt is no easy task to handle. Add to that the ever-increasing demands of modern life, the pressure can often become even more unbearable but still, the cycle continues to carry on.
3. Create a support squad
One of the biggest fears was telling people at work about your anxiety. The fear of telling people around you that you were afraid — talk about a negative thought cycle. Reached out to a few people at the office whom you felt comfortable with. It really helps to be able to talk to one or two people when you’re having a bad day. Creating a small support squad was the first step toward creating a more authentic me, both in my work and personal life.
4. Have a mantra, and use it every day
When that not-so-little voice inside starts to tell you that you’re not good enough or that you need to push yourself even harder, developed a few phrases to say back to it:
“Who I am right now is good enough for me.”
“I am doing my best.”
“I am not perfect and I love myself for who I am.”
“I deserve to take good care of myself.”
This tool is especially helpful when it comes to dealing with a challenging symptom of high-functioning anxiety: perfectionism. Having a mantra is empowering, and it gives me an opportunity to practice self-care and to cope with anxiety at the same time.
5. Learn how to intervene with yourself
“When I start to obsess and check back and forth, back and forth, I stop. I make myself walk away from whatever is causing my anxiety to rise.”
Anxiety feeds off of anxiety, like a giant snowball rolling downhill. Once you have identified your symptoms, you can learn how to intervene when they appear, and step out of the way before you get rolled over.
I find it difficult to make decisions, whether they’re about designing a brochure or picking out a brand of dishwasher detergent. When I start to obsess and check back and forth, back and forth, I stop. I make myself walk away from whatever is causing my anxiety to rise.
One tool I use is a timer. When the timer goes off, I hold myself accountable and I walk away. If I’ve had a particularly stressful week at work, I don’t follow that with a jam-packed weekend. This may mean saying “No” and disappointing someone, but I need to prioritize my own wellness. I have identified activities outside of work that are soothing for me, and I make time for myself to do them.
Learning how to moderate my own emotions and behaviors in response to anxiety has been key to managing my symptoms, and has decreased my overall level of stress.
6. Reconnect with your body
“I take walks outside, sometimes during my lunch break. I exercise. I do yoga. And when I feel too busy or too overwhelmed… I do these things anyway. Because I need them, even if it’s just for 10 or 15 minutes”
Anxiety is just as much physical as it is mental. People with high-functioning anxiety tend to live in their heads and find it hard to break the cycle of fearful thinking and feeling. Your body knows what it needs and when you slow down the mind we can hear the message it is giving you. Listen actively to the signals from your body each day and develop an open relationship between your body and mind. so that both may flourish.
HOW INBLOOM HELPS LEADERS LEAD WITH WELLBEING FIRST
We’ve heard it so many times recently; leaders must first focus on their own wellbeing. At In Bloom, we are helping leaders have a better understanding as to what their wellbeing looks like, holistically. We do this with in partnership with the Global Leadership Wellbeing Survey. This is the first step of our Leadership Wellbeing Coaching journey.
Reference:
https://thedawnrehab.com/blog/high-functioning-anxiety/