Noticing Burnout in Someone Else? Here’s What to Say and Do
Because silence doesn’t help—but support does
Burnout doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it whispers. A shift in energy. A missed deadline. A once-chatty teammate who’s suddenly withdrawn.
If you’ve noticed someone in your team, or a colleague, just isn’t themselves—your gut is probably right.
And even if you’re not their manager, your support could be exactly what helps them pull up before things get worse.
The challenge? Knowing what to say.
You don’t want to overstep, make it awkward, or get it wrong.
So here’s how to check in in a way that’s human, helpful, and respectful.
First: Know the Signs
Burnout doesn’t always look like someone crying at their desk. Often, it shows up as:
Emotional flatness or irritability
Constant “busyness” with no rest in sight
Camera off, always multitasking, avoiding small talk
Missed deadlines or dropping the ball
Disconnection—from the team, the work, or both
A subtle “not quite right” vibe you can’t put your finger on
You don’t need to diagnose anything. But if your gut says, something’s off—trust it.
What Not to Do
Let’s start with a few common missteps to avoid:
Don’t assume or label: “You’re burning out” might feel confronting or unhelpful.
Don’t make it about yourself: “I’ve been through that too” can unintentionally minimise what they’re feeling.
Don’t push them to open up: Some people need time.
Don’t jump into fixing mode: Burnout isn’t a checklist problem—it’s a deep one.
Instead, focus on presence. Empathy. Permission.
What to Say (That Doesn’t Feel Awkward)
Start simple. Keep your tone calm, kind, and low-pressure.
Here are some openers:
“Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quiet lately. Everything okay?”
“You’ve had a lot on—how are you holding up?”
“Just wanted to check in. I’ve been there when work gets overwhelming, and I wanted to see how you’re going.”
“I’m here if you ever want to talk or take a breather together.”
And if you’re not close? Try:
“You popped into my mind this week. Just checking in—no pressure at all.”
Let them lead from there.
If They Open Up, Try This
If they share, keep it simple:
Validate: “That sounds really tough. I’m glad you told me.”
Offer space: “Would it help to step away for a bit?” or “Want to take a walk and talk it out?”
Ask what they need: “Is there anything I can do, or just be here with you?”
Encourage support: “Have you had a chance to speak with your manager or EAP? You don’t have to carry this alone.”
No fixing. Just presence.
If They Don’t Want to Talk
That’s okay too.
You can say:
“Totally okay if now’s not the right time. I just wanted you to know I’m here—and I care.”
That alone makes a difference.
For Managers and Team Leads
If you’re their manager, it’s worth gently raising patterns that are affecting their wellbeing—not as performance issues, but as concern.
Try:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been working really long hours and seem a bit drained. I just want to make sure you’re okay, and we’re not pushing too hard.”
And if they’re open to it, co-create a plan to slow the pace, delegate, or shift priorities. Burnout recovery often starts with space.
You just need to show up. Gently. Without judgement.
When someone’s close to burnout, the most powerful thing you can offer isn’t advice—it’s empathy. And a reminder that they don’t have to do it all alone.
Because the sooner we start supporting each other, the fewer people we lose to silence.