Self-Compassion Will Make You a Better Leader
It’s understandable for leaders to get caught up in fear, doubt, and criticism when facing critical business decisions that will have a major impact on lives and livelihoods. But what’s needed in times of uncertainty and disruption is mental clarity, emotional balance, fortitude, and vision. To move from self-doubt and paralysis to clarity and action, you need an often-misunderstood skill: self-compassion. Based on our experience training tens of thousands of leaders on the role of self-compassion in emotional intelligence and effective leadership, we’d like to share some key tips and techniques for cultivating this critical skill.
Self-Compassion Makes You a Better Leader
The amount of research on self-compassion has grown significantly over the past fifteen years, and studies show that the benefits align with several important leadership skills.
Emotional Intelligence: Studies indicate that people who exercise self-compassion have higher levels of emotional intelligence, are better able to maintain calm when flustered, and tend to experience more happiness and optimism.
Resilience: Kristin Neff’s research and that of others show that self-compassionate people have standards as high as people who lack self-compassion, but that those with high self-compassion are less likely to be unduly and unproductively hard on themselves if they didn’t meet their own standards. Self-compassion supports you as you navigate setbacks, regain clarity, and move forward productively.
Growth Mindset: Studies from Neff and colleagues indicate that highly self-compassionate people are more oriented toward personal growth. Rather than avoid challenges, they are more likely to formulate specific plans to reach their goals.
Integrity: Research shows a strong link between self-compassion and conscientiousness and accountability, suggesting that self-compassion enables leaders to act responsibly and morally, even when undertaking difficult decisions.
Compassion Toward Others: As the UC-Berkeley professor of psychology Serena Chen writes, “Self-compassion and compassion for others are linked… Being kind and nonjudgmental toward the self is good practice for treating others compassionately.” Leaders who are able to model compassion for themselves and others build trust and psychological safety that leads to higher engagement and sustainable high performance in teams and organizations.
How to Build Your Capacity for Self-Compassion
Embracing the benefits of self-compassion is the first step. Then the question is how to foster it. Here is a set of core practices to get you started.
Practice in the Moment
The easiest place to start is with a five- to 20-second exercise that can be integrated into your day: when starting a meeting, as you sit down at your desk or kitchen table, or even while pausing between responding to emails.
To practice self-compassion during these moments, take three deep breaths and with each breath, think three subsequent thoughts, each connected to one of the core elements of self-compassion:
Mindfulness: “This is hard right now” or “I’m feeling tense.” By being aware of, but not overwhelmed by, your own emotions you’re able to make decisions with more clarity and wisdom.
Common humanity: “I’m not alone; other leaders are facing similar challenges.” Recognizing that you’re not alone supporting your well-being and your sense of connection with others, helping you consider the people potentially impacted by your actions.
Self-kindness: “May I be kind to myself as I face this challenge” or “What would be kind right now?” Treating yourself well is essential for your own motivation and your capacity to help others.
When times are tough and you’re faced with hard decisions, it’s easy to get paralyzed by self-doubt and fear. To move to clarity and action, leaders need self-compassion. Research shows that it increases your levels of emotional intelligence, resilience, integrity, and makes you more compassionate toward others, all of which improves your effectiveness as a leader. The authors offer several exercises for cultivating this skill, from short daily practices to tactics that help you shift your mindset.
HOW INBLOOM HELPS LEADERS LEAD WITH WELLBEING FIRST
We wish to help leaders lead more compassionately; Compassionate leaders are those who lead from within, those who have the ability to inspire others through encouragement and empowerment. When you treat people with compassion they never forget. You cultivate people who want to work for you not because of what you do but because of who you are. Find out more about our 1:1 Wellbeing Coaching.
Reference:
https://hbr.org/2020/11/self-compassion-will-make-you-a-better-leader