The Mental Load of Leading People
Why your leaders are carrying more than you think
There’s a quiet weight that comes with leading people.
Not the tasks on a to-do list—but the unseen emotional load. The weight of being available, responsive, strong, consistent, empathetic. The expectation to hold space for others while managing your own pressure behind the scenes.
It’s the mental load of leadership—and it’s heavy.
For HR and People & Culture leaders, this is an important conversation. Because when we talk about wellbeing, we often talk to employees. But leaders? They’re often left to figure it out for themselves.
What Is the Mental Load of Leadership?
Think of it as the invisible juggling act many leaders perform daily:
Supporting a team while navigating organisational change
Coaching someone through personal struggles while quietly managing their own
Making decisions under pressure while trying to keep everyone calm
Holding responsibility for outcomes and emotions
Being “on” all the time, even when they’re not OK
This is more than leadership capability—it’s emotional labour. And it takes a toll.
Signs Your Leaders Are Carrying Too Much
Leaders won’t always say they’re struggling. They may not even realise it. But the signs are there:
They’ve become reactive or emotionally distant
They’re avoiding difficult conversations
Their energy is flat, even in moments that used to light them up
They’re working longer hours but feel less effective
They’re managing team issues solo and not asking for support
Often, it’s not about workload—it’s about the emotional weight of holding up everyone else.
The Culture That Fuels It
Leadership burnout isn’t just about the person. It’s shaped by the system around them.
A culture of “always on” expectations
Lack of clarity about what wellbeing leadership actually looks like
The assumption that people leaders should naturally know how to handle everything
Rewarding results without checking the cost
Underinvestment in support for middle managers
When leaders feel responsible for their people—but unsupported by the organisation—that’s when mental load becomes unsustainable.
What HR and Culture Teams Can Do
1. Normalise conversations about emotional load
Start asking: “What support do you need as a leader?” Check in on how they’re holding space for others—and what they need in return.
2. Build leadership wellbeing into your frameworks
Don’t separate leadership from wellbeing. Embed self-awareness, boundaries, and emotional intelligence into leadership development.
3. Offer shared spaces, not just training
Create forums for people leaders to connect, debrief, and share real challenges. Leading people can feel isolating—connection helps.
4. Model realistic expectations from the top
Leaders take their cue from leadership. If senior execs never pause, rest, or set boundaries, middle managers won’t feel they can either.
5. Recognise emotional labour
Not just results. Acknowledge the care, energy, and effort it takes to support people well. That’s real leadership.
They’re not machines. They’re human. And leading people—especially in a time of uncertainty, complexity, and change—can be emotionally exhausting.
If we want resilient teams, we need supported leaders.
If we want psychological safety, we need to create it for them, too.
Because when leaders feel seen, valued, and cared for—they lead from a place that lifts everyone.