The Mental Load of Leading People

The Mental Load of Leading People


 

Why your leaders are carrying more than you think

There’s a quiet weight that comes with leading people.
Not the tasks on a to-do list—but the unseen emotional load. The weight of being available, responsive, strong, consistent, empathetic. The expectation to hold space for others while managing your own pressure behind the scenes.

It’s the mental load of leadership—and it’s heavy.

For HR and People & Culture leaders, this is an important conversation. Because when we talk about wellbeing, we often talk to employees. But leaders? They’re often left to figure it out for themselves.

 

What Is the Mental Load of Leadership?

Think of it as the invisible juggling act many leaders perform daily:

  • Supporting a team while navigating organisational change

  • Coaching someone through personal struggles while quietly managing their own

  • Making decisions under pressure while trying to keep everyone calm

  • Holding responsibility for outcomes and emotions

  • Being “on” all the time, even when they’re not OK

This is more than leadership capability—it’s emotional labour. And it takes a toll.

Signs Your Leaders Are Carrying Too Much

Leaders won’t always say they’re struggling. They may not even realise it. But the signs are there:

  • They’ve become reactive or emotionally distant

  • They’re avoiding difficult conversations

  • Their energy is flat, even in moments that used to light them up

  • They’re working longer hours but feel less effective

  • They’re managing team issues solo and not asking for support

Often, it’s not about workload—it’s about the emotional weight of holding up everyone else.

 

The Culture That Fuels It

Leadership burnout isn’t just about the person. It’s shaped by the system around them.

  • A culture of “always on” expectations

  • Lack of clarity about what wellbeing leadership actually looks like

  • The assumption that people leaders should naturally know how to handle everything

  • Rewarding results without checking the cost

  • Underinvestment in support for middle managers

When leaders feel responsible for their people—but unsupported by the organisation—that’s when mental load becomes unsustainable.

 

What HR and Culture Teams Can Do

1. Normalise conversations about emotional load

Start asking: “What support do you need as a leader?” Check in on how they’re holding space for others—and what they need in return.

2. Build leadership wellbeing into your frameworks

Don’t separate leadership from wellbeing. Embed self-awareness, boundaries, and emotional intelligence into leadership development.

3. Offer shared spaces, not just training

Create forums for people leaders to connect, debrief, and share real challenges. Leading people can feel isolating—connection helps.

4. Model realistic expectations from the top

Leaders take their cue from leadership. If senior execs never pause, rest, or set boundaries, middle managers won’t feel they can either.

5. Recognise emotional labour

Not just results. Acknowledge the care, energy, and effort it takes to support people well. That’s real leadership.


They’re not machines. They’re human. And leading people—especially in a time of uncertainty, complexity, and change—can be emotionally exhausting.

If we want resilient teams, we need supported leaders.
If we want psychological safety, we need to create it for them, too.
Because when leaders feel seen, valued, and cared for—they lead from a place that lifts everyone.