We Need to Talk About the Coworker Who’s Always ‘Fine’
A reminder to look beyond what people are saying out loud
You know the type.
Always smiling. Always saying, “I’m good!”
Always calm, dependable, the one who can handle anything.
They don’t ask for help. They don’t make a fuss. They rarely talk about how they’re really doing.
And because they’re not waving any red flags, we assume they’re… fine.
But here’s the thing:
Just because someone looks okay doesn’t mean they are.
Some people get really good at hiding it — especially at work.
We Don’t Always Show It
Stress doesn’t always look like a meltdown. Burnout doesn’t always mean missing deadlines.
Sometimes it looks like someone who’s still performing. Still showing up. Still smiling.
Because for a lot of us, “I’m fine” is a habit. A defense. A way of keeping things moving.
We’ve learned to stay in the role people expect of us — the steady one, the helpful one, the one who doesn’t make things complicated.
And over time, it sticks. We become the person who can “handle it.” So no one asks if we’re okay.
But capability doesn’t cancel out struggle.
The Risk of Being the One Everyone Counts On
When you’re the one people rely on, it’s hard to admit when things aren’t great.
You don’t want to disappoint anyone. You don’t want to seem dramatic.
You just want to be left alone to keep things together.
So you power through. You say “all good!” when it’s not.
You keep it light, even when things feel heavy.
And the tricky thing is — people believe you.
Because you’re good at your job. Because you seem steady.
Because we’ve made it normal to only check in on someone when something looks wrong.
But not everyone shows it.
A lot of us have learned to keep it quiet.
Let’s Get Better at Noticing
If we want workplaces that are truly supportive — not just on paper, but in practice — we have to pay attention to the quieter signs.
The person who never takes a break.
The one who’s always “fine” even when the pressure is nonstop.
The one carrying the emotional weight of the team but never talking about how it’s affecting them.
They might not ask for support. They might not know how.
That doesn’t mean they don’t need it.
A Simple Check-In Goes a Long Way
You don’t have to make a big deal out of it.
It can be as simple as:
“Hey, I know you’ve had a lot going on. How are you doing, really?”
“You’ve been holding a lot together lately. Just wanted to check in.”
“I see how much you’re managing — if you ever need space to talk, I’m here.”
You don’t need to fix anything.
You just need to show up — gently, genuinely.
Sometimes that’s all someone needs to stop pretending they’re fine.
The coworker who’s always “fine” might not be fine at all — they’ve just learned to hide it well. If we want to build more human, honest workplaces, we need to look past the surface. Not everyone who needs support will ask for it. That’s why we check in anyway.
Look around. Who’s been holding it together a little too well?
Who hasn’t taken a breath in a while? Who’s always good, even when things clearly aren’t?
Reach out. Ask. Offer space.
Because everyone deserves to be seen — not just when they fall apart, but before they ever get to that point.
Let’s get better at supporting each other. Quietly. Gently. Consistently.
Especially the ones who never ask.